"We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes your the giver of life..."

Matt Redman's You Alone Can Rescue, is playing in my head this evening.   I think it is fitting.  I have been thinking a lot about the future.  What is next?  That is what people keep asking. 

Erika wants to know because she is my roommate and wants to know if someone new is coming in. 

My bosses want to know because they can hire someone to replace me.

Both of my parents want to know because I mean they are my parents.

Anyone I talk to wants to know how long I will be in TN.

But most of all I want to know.

Any of you who are hoping I will be in Mt. Pleasant... you're probably wrong.  God is teaching me some big things, and they are all coming at me pretty fast. I am thankful for a lot tonight. I want to list some of them because they are important in my story.

I am thankful for God knowing what is to come.

I am thankful that He is teaching me that what He has planned is better than what I have planned.

I am thankful that He brought Breena into my life.

I am thankful for Montreat.

I am thankful for supportive parents (not just one, but two).

I am thankful for Erika.

I am thankful that God has placed people in my life that care enough about me to text me in the middle of the week to see how I am doing.

I list this things because sometimes I forget how blessed I am.  I get so wrapped up in myself and that things aren't going my way that I forget to life up my eyes to the giver of life.  We watched two videos that Louie Giglio has out.  For those that don't know him, he is a preacher in Atlanta, GA and he has some amazing stuff to say.  We watched his "How Great is Our" and "Indescribable" videos.  If you haven't watched them, go look it up on youtube, I'm sure it is there.  They really put you in your place.  We are so small, but God LOVES US! Also while you are at it watch "Fruitcake and Icecream". It will blow your mind.  

I was reading today in Jeremiah 1, in my big Bible, because I forgot how much I LOVE IT!  In the notes section at the bottom I was encouraged by these words: "1:6-8 Often people struggle with new challenges because they lack self-confidence, feeling that they have inadequate ability, training, or experience. Jeremiah thought he was 'only a child'-too young and inexperienced to be God's spokesman to the world.  But God promised to be with him. We should not allow feelings of inadequacy to keep us from obeying God's call.  He will always be with us.  When you find yourself avoiding something you know you should do, be careful not to use lack of self-confidence as an excuse.  If God gives you a job to do, he will provide all you need to do it."

That is how I have been feeling lately.  I believe that I have looked into to doing something that I would not ever think about doing because I'm afraid to try something new.  However, God calls us to something specific to our personality, that He created!  If He knows me better than anyone else than why do I not trust that he has a perfect will for me?  I know that I want to work in a church as a youth director.  I have know that since I was 16.  Now is time for me to start trust "that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6)."  I'm being to work on some things.

Beautiful snow day!

Oh how I love snow days! Even better with kids than college students. Please keep praying about victoria and the decisions that follow because they aren't making a final decision until after break!

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It's been a while...

So I don't want to type long on my phone but if you guys could be praying for Victoria and a situation involved with her that would be great!

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Holla!

My new phone can post blogs how freakin' awesome. My blog will begin to become more random and on top of things! How wonderful for me

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trying this out

Hopefully this works. If it does I may blog more :)

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I love fall

I'm not sure what it really is about fall that I love so much, but I do.  I love every minute of it though.  Check out the Cake Wrecks from today because it makes me super happy, and makes me want to have a fall wedding.

I love fall.  Yesterday we went to a fall festival.  I loved it because it was a gorgeous day and everything was free.  However, I would have changed the people that were with me.  Yesterday was one of the days that I realize how much I miss Montreat and having people there that love me and accept me.  Don't get me wrong, I have some amazing people in my life here in TN but I still long for time with the people that mean the most to me because I don't have to force a relationship with them.  I just have to be myself.  I am really learning a lot right now on depending on Jesus for my strength, because without Him, I. AM. NOTHING.

This is really a hard thing that I am learning because it means praying more, reading more.  And I just want you to know that I fail miserably every day.  But God has put great counsel in my life.  Erika, my co-mentor, is amazing.  She is one of the wise people that God has put in my life.  And the best things is that we are both at the ranch for the same reason.  We are here unselfishly for the girls, and not for the people we work with.  Which I think is one of the biggest reasons that we work so well together.  Anyway, God put here in my life and she is a constant remember that it doesn't matter who is around as long as I am being with the girls and ministering to them in some way or another.

She is very much amazing and I enjoy her company.  That is the two of us from earlier this week... the girls love to borrow our cameras to take pictures.

Ok so I am running out of time here because apparently Panera only lets you on for a half hour during "peak" hours, even though no one is here.

There is much else that I can think of to report!

Until next time!
Peace.

I miss sleep

So I don't feel like I have slept all week.  A lot has been going on at the ranch, and just in life lately.  If you could be specifically praying for me during this time at the ranch for me just for confidence and relationships with the other mentors.

I have really enjoyed getting to know my new co-mentor, Erika, she is pretty amazing, I must say.  We have already gotten to know each other better than Kelly and I ever did.  Which I love.  Erika is from NJ and I thought that would be hard because she is from the north, but it has given us something to bond over. For those of you who are confused at this point, pretty much my entire family lives in either NJ or PA, so it is just coo that we have that in common.  So anyway, Erika is great and I know that I will be learning a lot from her.

Anyway.  There have been a lot of changes on the ranch and they are hard for people.  First being that Kelly, my last co-mentor is still here.  This is a hard change for her specifically.  The 4 girls that are in the house with me have been her kids since she started at the ranch, so it hasn't been an easy move for her.  The girls are still getting use to it as well.  However, they also love Erika.  I'm sure that one of the girls would much rather have Erika and Kelly instead of me, but you know whatever.

The second change that just happened was we got a new student.  This is hard. I just got use to the 4 that I have had all summer and now we have to start training a new student to follow the rules that the ranch has set up... This is going to be a somewhat hard task.  Partially because both Erika and I forget about saying yes ma'am or yes sir... instead of just saying yes or no.  Not to mention feeling like we have to constantly remind her to ask permission before doing something.  Although she is doing an amazing job.  One other interesting thing, is that she is already lying about stuff to the girls.  Why is it that we feel some much like we have to fit in that we start lying about ourselves?  It is truly sad.  Hopefully, because level 1 is setup to build trust worthiness, with time she will start telling the truth.  Thankfully her roommate is really trying for level three  and knows to talk to the house parents about things like that.

Alright. So we have a new student, Brady.  I have a new roommate.  Yup.  Life is good.  And is also hard, so I'm just asking for prayer.